Drink better coffee today following these sexy hacks
I’m not joking when I say coffee is more important to me than everything I hold dear in this world. I’d push my own mother off a cliff for a bag of beans. I’d throw my sisters in jail for one last whiff of grounds (I’d throw them in jail for a lot less and all, they’re very annoying). If you tried to take my morning coffee, I’d fight you. I’d wrestle you naked in the mud, screaming like an ape. I’d take everything you loved in this world if you threatened my liquid, warm, coffee-joy.
Having said that, I am a compassionate man who is always looking for ways to help his community. I want to share with you three changes which dramatically improved my access to good quality coffee on the go, healthier blends, and a healthier experience. Don’t say I’m not kind, you’ll thank me at the end of this (that is not a supposition).
Get an Aeropress — Seriously, GET ONE
The aeropress changed my life. Before, reliant on revolting instant misery (might be a cool band name, noted), I was a shade of a man. Today, I pack light, and live on cloud nine. You can get them on Amazon super cheap. If you buy a metal filter, you can get literally thousands of uses out of this thing, which you can easily take with you anywhere.
This piece of kit is immense. It’s lightweight and uses your own physical pressure, paired with boiling water, to press a shot of coffee at a time. I think it has other uses too, but that’s of no interest to me, I just use it for the raw, brooding pleasure of delicious coffee, any time I want.
Not only does this piece of kit make itself uniquely portable, but it’s also saving you money. Historically, you might have had to use a cafetiere (I never liked them much, personally), or a proper coffee machine (yikes, expensive!), but now you can get your own grounds, often for much cheaper than at a cafe! I mean, let’s face it, nobody is going to enjoy a coffee shop anymore, what with a shuffling queue system, grumpy, militant employees, and the unnerving ambience of an operating theatre. Skip the queue, do it at home, or on the go, and save yourself MONEY.
Choose a Medium Roast No. 3–4 for Ultimate Health Benefits
You might be partial to some reaaaallly dark coffee. We’re talking so dark, it’d crack an inappropriate joke over your grannies funeral casket just for kicks. But the science says you’re missing out if you go too far north on the cooking scale. Too well-done, and you’re going to be skipping some of those vital nutrients, abundant in medium to light roasts.
That’s because this study found that lighter roasts contain more chlorogenic acid and higher levels of antioxidants, which contribute to lower levels of inflammation in the body. Antioxidants can reduce your risk of heart and liver disease (as well as a host of other inflammatory diseases), so making it a part of your diet is a great boost to overall health. Just make sure you’re getting everything you can from that delicious, bitter bean (I’m sure that could have been my nickname in high school).
Drink It Blaaaaaaaack
Like the colour of my soul. No, I’m kidding, we’ve clarified that I’m actually a really nice guy. Drop it, would you?
The thing I’m trying to get at, isn’t so much that black coffee is any different, it’s just less likely to be filled with things that can antagonise your immune system. I realised I couldn’t hack milk. That’s right, an abyssal character such as myself cannot drink milky wilky cos it makey my tummy achey. Don’t make fun, I’m still terrifying and powerful and dangerous, oh wait, no, scratch that, I am very nice.
Lactose intolerance is much more common than you’d think. 30 million Americans suffer from the disorder in which the body cannot break down the milk sugar lactose. It’s not usually serious, but over time, it can have a negative impact on digestive health. Even if you’re not intolerant, you might still be sensitive (not me, I’m hard as nails), which can mean that milk still irritates your digestive system.
Additives such as sweeteners have been linked to rising obesity levels. Do not put sweeteners in your drinks. You are not bypassing, cheating, or otherwise tricking your body’s mechanisms in a clever way. You’re just trying to do things the easy way. Nothing in life is easy, don’t cheat, especially not with such an elegant mistress as caffeine. She’ll think you’re tacky, and may even file a court order for abuse in a domestic setting. Don’t ruin this good thing you have going.
Sugar is the final, and potentially most yucky of all additives. I don’t even feel the need to provide any kind of research backed evidence for this. Sugar kills. You know it, I know it, it’s not controversial at this point. Try not to have so much, especially in drinks where sugar can get to your blood stream faster than in solid foods. Get it from fruits, not processed sources. Also, coffee deserves better. Don’t you think it deserves better? I’m not really asking you anyway, but you already knew that.
Coffee Made Easy, With Me, Your Host, The One And Onl…
So that’s three things you can do today to improve your coffee drinking experience. You’re welcome. Don’t thank me. I already thanked myself. You should get an aeropress, make sure to drink a lighter roast for optimum health, and keep added shit out of your coffee! Drink it black, and never go back!
Please like, comment and subscribe – I won’t beg, I’m not desperate, just chill about this whole thing. No big deal. No sweat at all. Don’t worry about it.